Lost

My sense of direction is pitiful. Once, I decided to take an orienteering class to learn how to use a compass and read a topographical map (thought I'd try a little backpacking), and I swear to you, I got hopelessly lost on the way to the class. True story.

I navigate this world with the help of kindly strangers. My usual method, on foot, is to walk a bit, ask a stranger for help, walk a bit more, ask another stranger for help, rinse, and repeat as needed. It generally works just fine. It almost never works in the car, though. Well, sometimes it does. One time in busy downtown Pittsburgh, I stopped traffic when I pulled over a teeny bit to ask a beat cop for directions to the Hilton. He helped point me in the right direction, then I called the hotel on my cell and had them talk me in as I drove. Usually, when I'm lost in the car, I just pretend I'm on a leisurely drive. I look at the scenery, and I hope I see something familiar eventually.

Today, I tried to go to a big warehouse furniture sale at a store in a town east of mine. I took the wrong direction on the loop road around town, so that added about 45 minutes to the drive. When I got to the town, I was totally lost. By the time I thought about asking somebody for directions, I'd lost the will to shop. I bought ice cream and pouted for a while instead. In total, my expedition to nowhere took me 2.5 hours. Clearly, it's time for a GPS. A friend offered to sell me her old one, and I think buying and using it could be my new thing for September. Frankly, I'd like to have it implanted in my brain. I'm perfectly happy to hear voices, as long as they tell me when to turn right or left.

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