My new job came out of nowhere to some degree. I knew the chair of my department would be retiring next year, and I knew I was interested in the job, but it seemed a long way off, so it wasn't really on my radar. Then, in March, the email came. My chair wrote the department to announce that he'd decided to retire early. His last day would be a June 30, 2013. The next few weeks were a whirlwind. I wrote and sent to my department my statement of interest in the position, and so did two other colleagues. We answered questions in a department forum, we answered more questions by email, and then the department voted electronically. A week later, the results were announced, and, well, I won.
Since then, I've been in Chairs School. That's what I'm calling the frequent emails, phone sessions, and face-to-face meetings that I've had with my very generous chair. He's been great about giving me as much information as he can about the job, and about letting me start to do things that give me a feel for what I'm getting into. Yesterday, I played with the fall schedule. I cancelled several classes, added others, emailed people to reassign them, filled sections with adjuncts, spoke to HR, and got a real feel for how the schedule works. I suspect I'll read this post next year and see these little actions as meaningless in the big picture of the job I've taken on, but right now, they feel significant--not so much for what I did, but because I did them. For a few minutes, I felt like the chair, and it was okay!
Just before Easter, I submitted my statement of interest to my department colleagues by email, and then I jumped in the car and drove to Erie. I had mixed emotions about the job that weekend. At moments, I felt confident that I wanted it and that I could do the job well. At other moments, I thought I was insane for wanting to take on such a big job. Every once in a while, I worried I'd get it and be terrible at it and that one of my terrific colleagues should get it. Easter Sunday, I went to the cemetery to visit my parents' grave. As I walked through the graveyard, I came to a massive headstone that made me laugh out loud because it so perfectly captured the span of emotions I was feeling about the job of chair. Would I kill the department with poor leadership? Would the job kill me? Would I do my best and burn out? Would I be great at it in a way that would make it define my life? Anything seemed possible. When I look at the photo now, I laugh again. I'm calmer about the job now and really happy to be taking on a new challenge. Still, it's a good reminder to be vigilant and ethical and attentive to the needs of my colleagues and our students. Life comes out of nowhere sometimes: things begin and end without warning. The best we can do sometimes is to remember the big picture and have a sense of humor. Right?
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You'll be a star, Dr. Sue!
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