Kidnap Your Professor

A few weeks ago, I received an email from one of my summer study abroad kids. She's involved in a student organization at school, and they were trying to launch a new fundraising event for Homecoming. She was writing to me and to a handful of other professors to see if they'd be interested in helping in an event called "Kidnap Your Professor." Here's how it works. Somebody from the organization comes to your class and explains that the group is trying to raise money for a big homecoming event. If students in the class put enough money in the red bucket the student has brought to class, their professor will be "kidnapped" one day during the semester; in other words, class will be canceled for the day. Several professors signed on, so whichever class raised the most would win and their professor would be nabbed. Oh...they also promised to give the winning class a pizza party on another class day. I thought it was a fun idea, so I said "sure, sign me up."

On Tuesday, the student organizer visited both of my composition classes. She is an international student from Estonia, cute as a button, and she did a great job of being over-the-top enthusiastic about the whole event. I thought it was extra charming when her nervousness caused her to refer to the homecoming float they were going to build as "the floater." She left the room, leaving behind the red bucket. Despite her enthusiasm, my 9:30 class raised a whopping $5 to have me kidnapped. Things were worse in my 11am class: the organizer made her speech, left the red bucket, and, at the end of the class, there was not a single red cent in the red plastic bucket. Nothing. Alas, I won't be kidnapped any time soon.

I don't know how the other professors did, but I did hear that somebody raised $10 in one of his classes. I've decided that it's okay that my students didn't donate. While they might not have shown team spirit on the whole homecoming event thing, they didn't rush the bucket with wads of bills in hand, eager to rid themselves of me for a day. That's right: it's all about me and my continual attempts to spin things to keep my little ego from being bruised. Maybe the organizers should consider a Kidnap Your Students event. I know quite a few professors who would dig deep and donate to have their students disappear for a day.

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